The term addiction is used to describe a recurring compulsion by an individual to engage in some specific activity, despite harmful consequences, as deemed by the user himself to his individual health, mental state, or social life.
I recently had a comment left on my blog by a fellow blogger who I know wasn't trying to be insulting; we've blogged back and forth for a couple of years now...had a few tit for tats-all in light hearted blogger style.
Today, though, I just felt I should address the comment as I feel very strongly about what she said. And don't take this as a personal attack hon...your comment simply triggered something that I felt I should respond to.
She mentioned that she thought it was easier to deal with an alcohol or drug addiction (and probably gambling, shopping etc-though she did not state that) because you can't live without food-where you can live without alcohol or drugs. Hmmmm-this to me just sounds like another excuse. Sure you can't live without food-but you CAN live without cake, cookies, chips, soda pop.
The fact is-when you have an addiction-you FEEL like you can't live without whatever it is that has "control" over you. I know that when I was letting alcohol take over-I literally felt like I would explode if I didn't drink it. I got so antsy and irritable and consumed by the thought of alcohol-I did whatever I had to to get it on that day.
One day I hid all of my tampons and claimed that I needed to go to the shops since Aunt Flo was visiting and I was completely out just so I could go and get wine because I was out of that. I HAD to have the alcohol that day.
Its' still about choice. And I finally chose to not let the alcohol control me. But until the day I made that decision-I truly felt I HAD to have it. And even now, I get those feelings...sometimes I'll be in town getting groceries and of course the liquor store is right next door and certain thoughts enter my mind about how easy it would be, or how I can handle a few glasses, -but I now choose to not go into the liquor store. Just like when you are in the grocery store-you can choose to not go down the cake isle. It's your choice. Yes, it's hard to control the urge to not overeat, just like it's hard to control the urge to drink alcohol, or gamble or take drugs...it's bloody HARD! I'm not saying dealing with a food urge is easy...I'm not saying that at all. But, I still think it's an URGE...you feel the urge to overeat...food addicts have said this themselves...it's an urge.
I know I'm going to get flack for this...but if you really read what I've said...I have not said that food addiction is easy-so please don't tell me that my addiction is easy to deal with. You have never been addicted to alcohol. You have no idea.
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You may find reading David Greenwalt's blog enlightening ( www.llublog.com ) and reading some of Kay Sheppard's work as well. The etiology is similar to your addiction - which proves that one is not "easier" than the other.
Thanks Liz. Interesting read for sure. Yep-we addicts simply feel that we need that "thing" to make us feel good. For food addicts it's not just food in general, as he pointed out-they don't generally binge on asparagus. I appreciate that he points out that a food addict has a choice over their behaviour just as any other addict...IMO. So, thank you!
I agree Raechelle. My mum, even though she was the wife of an alcoholic (who died at 43) still could NEVER understand addiction, because she'd never experienced it. I believe this was a major problem in my dad trying to stay sober. Not that I'm blaming her...but I just feel that she was so clueless that she had no idea what he was going through when he tried not to drink. He died and she still didn't get it.
More recenlty, when I was trying to give up smoking she said "why can't you just stop?"
No offer of assistance, no support. No idea.
xxx
I agree with you, that it is easier for people that don't have an addiction to dismiss or have trouble truly understanding those that do. My ex-husband was an alcoholic and he became a completely different person - literally like night and day, and very quickly. I remember that I used to dismiss "depression" as a wimpy excuse to deal with life, then when I witnessed what my sister dealt with when she had postpartum depression, I realized that this was a real thing. It was physical, and she felt like someone else was controlling her choices. She knew it was wrong to "feel" a certain way but she couldn't help it. My husband was someone that drank all the time when I met him, but he was in construction, and so did all of his friends. I didn't see the problem because he was hardly EVER drunk. Then, toward the middle of our first year of marriage the drinking just accelerated, where he was up to probably 12 beers or more a day plus 1/2 bottle of Jim Beam. And he wouldn't be drunk. It was horrifying to watch this disease consume him and destroy his life. I remember reading that alcoholism will ruin your life in stages, first your friends, your loved ones then your job and so on. My ex did just that. He left our marriage by cheating on me with some white-trash alcoholic that will support his alcoholic stupor. He started smoking and then it was clear he was doing some kind of drugs. He left his job of 25+ years, pulled away from his family, his own mother, his kids and of course me. I do see it as a sickness, but yet it CAN BE OVERCOME if you choose to. You are living proof of that Rae Rae and I salute you for it, and am soooo proud of you for it.
You inspire in me the hope that maybe someday my ex, who was the love of my life, could make the right choice and fix his life.
:-)
Thank you both! I should clarify that the gal that left the comment is a food addict herself...and that's why she was saying food addiction is harder.
I appreciate your words of support...helps me to stay strong and in that I'm able to help myself and others. Cheers!
No addiction is easy, that's why they're called an addiction. Our time should be spent focussing on our own addictions and not comparing ourselves to others. People have it better and worse than us, but what's the point worrying about things we can not control. The point is there is no point and those that live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
That's my two cents worth Raechelle. xxx
haha-too true Lia! tell it like it is...:-)
Addiction is addiction. Does it matter what it is to? They're all headfucks! No addiction is easier than any others.
Hey Raechelle
you shouldn't have to worry about getting flack. Its your blog, say what you want when you want, if people don't like it they don't have to comment and they don't have to read.
Its the only negative thing I can find about blogging that shits me, when people think its their opinion/way or nothing.
We are all different.
Shar x
Glad you agree Shelly!
Thanks Shar... surprisingly I haven't gotten anything negative... Maybe I'm not doing my job well any more...only kidding...:-)
Not offended.
Think I was having an off day.
Really struggling with my ADDICTION to bad food.
I did not mean to say trying to break the addiction to drugs/alcohol was EASY... hell no! I simply meant you could (once you had won the battle to give it up)... live without it.
I have never been addicted to alcohol and have NO idea how it feels..or how hard it is to stop. I did not mean to demean all that you have gone through to get over your addiction at all.
All I know is that I simply CANNOT control myself/my urge to EAT CRAP sometimes.... more often than not most days.
My comment was not intended to underestimate what you and other people have had to struggle with to give up your vice, be it alcohol/drugs/etc.
I was just venting about how hard I was finding it to not eat crap.....
Rambling on.... I was not trying to JUSTIFY my eating crap....at the end of the day... to ME my inability to stop eating crap is an ADDICTION of sorts, and not to be lightly dismissed as not at 'TRUE' addiction. I do have a recurring compulsion to eat. ... it does have harmful consequences (as in weight gain, which CAN be harmful to one's health and mental wellbeing)... and let's not dismiss it's social aspects... no one likes fat people, we are scorned... laughed at, mocked, made fun of.. you name it. And it destroys a person's confidence... and soul.
Yes, I could avoid the cookie aisle at the supermarket, the hot bread shop, the ice cream shop... just as you could have avoided alcohol and chosen to only drink water, fruit juice, tea, coffee whatever. It is not all cut and dried... Do you honestly think I want to be fat? Do you honestly think my desire to eat comforting food does not drive me nuts, make me irritable and cross when I can't? I hate myself. CONSTANTLY.
What seems simple to you ( "don't eat that shit" )... is not to me.
My saying it was impossible to give up food... therefore my ADDICTION... is real to me. Yes.. I can give up shitty crap food... of course I can... but I use food the same way you used alcohol... to help me get through the day!
I'm sorry if it doesn't seem real to you... see... you have not been in my footsteps for the last 30 odd years... 30 years of battling weight gain/weight loss/ gain / loss.... it is HARD. It is a constant battle. And to have my own father ridicule me and slag me off for being 'fat and ugly' sure in hell did not help.. it just made me eat more.
I was HAPPY when he drowned! He could not hurt me anymore. 10 years later.. I still do not miss him and his cruel words. Words do hurt. I really must get over his words, maybe then I can finally move on.
I had a dreadful ADDICTION to smoking from 20 - 30 years old (a packet a day) .... I would do ANYTHING for a smoke... it came before most anything else. I finally gave it up.. with a huge internal struggle. So I do know how a 'percieved' REAL ADDICTION feels too.
I hope to be able to give up BAD FOOD too... one day. I just wish it didn't smell so nice. lol
Shit a brick, I have really no doubt put my foot in it now... !
But.. maybe you will see where I was coming from?
Love ya chick... and really proud of all that you have done.
Just wish I loved myself too.
(I did re-read all this drizzle.. and hope it isn't once again taken the wrong way)
nite nite .. it took me an hour to compose this comment, and another 20 minutes to hit 'send'... see.. I am so worried you will still not understand.
From my experience alcohol has destroyed more lives and relationships than any other addiction I can think of.
If someone wants to feel that their addiciton is easier to escape from than another and that helps them overcome it then I suppose it's alright, but ranking these more than stern masters doesn't make much sense to me.
Cheers!
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